Why I hate fat men's cars

[Justin]

OK, I now drive a big saloon (a 528i to be exact). What this has is a good chassis, excellent engine, enormous weight, superb refinement, good space, excellent depreciation secondhand and remarkable ride. What it doesn't have is any feeling of non big car comfort biased composure or the avoidance of that awful floaty flabby weight to sling around here feeling if you want to take a corner with the enthusiasm that would be possible in a wide range of smalller cars, from a 205 GTi to a Boxster. I don't want to drive like this really ever, but I don't want to get the feeling that I am being discouraged by weight and a comparative lack of talent, either.

So is it possible to have a decent big saloon, short of an M5? By the way, the Merc E Class is a milk float. I'm sure the E55 AMG and the E430 are interesting in a grunt over gut way, but the others are as interesting (in the way as a Lotus Elise is gebuinely interesting) as a spell at one of those retreats which were compulsory at School. I can't think of any, so the bottom line is that weight and bulk are a bad thing, or have I missed anything?

[528i]

weight & bulk is a nice commodity when the oncoming punto sport decides to overtake & a rapidly approaching Uberpanzer @ 120mph doesn't like to yield.. :)

[Justin]

OK, but suppose you don't want to drive over some peasant in a little tin box, back to my earlier question, can a big car ever fundamentally overcome the automotive gut enough to be interesting? (leave the M5 out for now)

[Phil]

OK Justin, I hear what your saying. You want your cake and eat it. :p

What about the XJ Sport from Jaguar?

With a 3.2-litre V8 engine, i'm sure you could have a bit of fun in this as you get the peasants to bow to you before you run them over. :D

[528i]

I don't think any 'luxury' car can compete with the smaller more agile point & squirt (& often slower) gti's for feedback on the limit, but half the thrill of these cars is the 'mini derived' low-slung driving position & the exhilaration of being closer to the action with a smaller bonnet line, creating the uninsulated impression of the world flying by at a much greater pace & also the nervous appreciation & anticipation that should anything go wrong, that little 2ft bonnet wont be much help.. a 528i will stick with the heavy v8 740i / ls400 luxobarges all the way to 100mph (18secs) & has enough grunt to get sideways, by your always going to be more isolated from the dogfight in comparison to hot-hatches, still there's great craic to be had on the track though, where its reasonably well balanced & predictable powerslides are the order of the day, & apart from the micky episode - overtaking an Integra & 330ci felt good, even if they were only driving like big pussies.. :)

[Justin]

Your credibility in this respect is somewhat diminished by the fact that a recent encounter on track between you and a Mk II Escort led to the latter being christened "528i Slayer";) . And be careful what you say on this Forum. Its mine. Freddie's back:eek:

[WhipLash]

Aha, the evil speed freak has returned! They way I see it Justin, is that you can’t have your cake and eat it! :p

There’s only one choice here that I can see. A powerful and enjoyable saloon for the comfortable family drive. That should service your every-day (and weekend) needs. Secondly, a small sports car for the thrilling spins that your heart cries out for. Sounds like you need to fork out on a second car (or third car counting the wifes?) . But what to buy? I can only think of one car, and it certainly won’t replace the much-missed Boxster either. What about a Mazda MX-5 to satisfy the heart, if such thrills can be found in such a humble car? Or perhaps a cheapish left-hooker Porsche?

[528i]

i got a spin on a 1200cc yamaha the weekend, and if its thrills your after.. that takes some beating, scared the shyte outa myself :(

[Junior]

I've noticed that a lot lately with middle aged men that they have the Four Door Family car and the GSXR or the R1 for the weekend...

[lastsaturday]

a 528 isnt exactly a sports car, my man... you buy a car like that for comfort, long trips and baby seats.

if you want big, then look at something like the porsche 928. big, comfortable and very, very quick.

[rivolette]

Originally posted by lastsaturday
a 528 isnt exactly a sports car, my man... you buy a car like that for comfort, long trips and baby seats.

if you want big, then look at something like the porsche 928. big, comfortable and very, very quick.

Since when does Porsche make big cars??? :confused:
Is this the stupid 4x4 they came up with that you're talking about? It's hideous in my opinion. Completely destroys the image of Porsche.

[rivolette]

Originally posted by Justin
So is it possible to have a decent big saloon, short of an M5? By the way, the Merc E Class is a milk float. I'm sure the E55 AMG and the E430 are interesting in a grunt over gut way, but the others are as interesting (in the way as a Lotus Elise is gebuinely interesting) as a spell at one of those retreats which were compulsory at School. I can't think of any, so the bottom line is that weight and bulk are a bad thing, or have I missed anything?

Haven't ever owned one but I have had the chance to drive the S55 AMG numerous times, and I gotta tell you, for a ride that big, it's extremely nimble. You can definitely take some fast corners out with that car. One of my all time favorites. And they've given it a near 500 horsepower engine for the 2003 model. As some would say "powers from *phat farm* to *Iceberg Slim* in one shower". It either that or your private jet!

BTW, the BMW 5 series is hardly a large car if you ask me. You ever ride in a Cadillac Deville? now that's a float, not too bad though, it rides with style, I like that.

[lastsaturday]

Well, the 928 is as big as a 5 series Beemer inside, it will seat two fat germans, their little wives in the back, a weekends worth of clobber in theboot and still propell the occupants to 60mph in under 6 seconds. topping out eventually at about 160mph.

the cayenne, is just a market strategy move. porsche are a small company and need all the income they can get. seeing as SUV's is the car of the times, they have to compete. good for them and great for the yanks.

BTW, you can get a low mileage 928GT for about €15k. which Beemer can you buy for that much which offers as much?

[Justin]

Or what about the S600 Uberdragster which has 600bhp:eek:

0-60 in 4 in a limo? You gotta hand it to MB (erstwhile purveyors of milk floats to the generously bottomed): bravo, well done chaps. Lets have more of that and less of the poxy mazda 323 lookalike hatchbacks. Stick to what you know - its about time you did a 300 SE 6.3 or 450 SEL 6.9 again.

And what are BMW doing? Selling that mutant moose the 7 series. I hereby award BMW the fat bottom award in consequence of their brave efforts to get to where Mercedes Benz were in the 1980's. Well done chaps. Bravo. Just sell off all the remaining M3s (at a discount preferably) - everthing else you do pretty much sucks to a greater or lesser extent these days.

Read the article in the current 911 and Porsche world about a 928 enthusiast - it seems to be an exercise in motoring complication futility overkill, with the longest and most pointless wiring loom of any car in history. I drove one once and I thought it had a brutally clumsy auto box, more road noise than an M1 Abrams, not much (cough cough) agility, but continent crushing proletarian blitzkrieking urge once it picked up its skirts a bit. But you have to be committed - Typhoid Mary's toothbrush would be easier to trade in. You'd get a rather good '96/7 528i for €15k, but you could easily spend €15k on a €15k Porsche 928. Them boys in Belgard know how to suck the wallet dry at 1000 yards.

[rivolette]

Originally posted by Justin
You gotta hand it to MB (erstwhile purveyors of milk floats to the generously bottomed): bravo, well done chaps.

:smoke: I agree :D

[Alfa Romeo]

Yes the 5 series is a great car but don't expect it to behave like a small sports car - just the laws of physics im afraid.

A nice classic TR6 is the job for that - must post some pics of mine whe I take it out for the summer:smoke:

[528i]

How many f*cking classics have you :realmad: round them all up for the trade and you'd have a nice 5-series :D